Worst Pet Peeve as a Reader?

Voices that are trying too hard. I find this especially in first person, or maybe it's just more obvious in first person. It's like the character (well, the author) is so desperate to appear cool and edgy that every other sentence is a smartarse comment. It's exhausting and alienating.

 

Yeah, I tend to agree. Sounding like a Buffy The Vampire Slayer character is much less charming in a book where it's going to be kept up for three hundred pages. There's definitely a fine line between characterful first person narration and the author trying way too hard that's not always obvious to the writer but that's what other people are for.

Whedon't Whedon in book form for a reason.

 

Gratuitous sex scenes that are written in a very vulgar and demeaning way.
Extremely vivid descriptions of things that are not important to the story.

Really long dialogue that eats up a page from one character that doesn't
have anything better to do than flap their gums. Usually has at least two
paragraphs (I wish they would shut up and do something already).

Love Triangles (enough said).

And a recent one I have found to be most peculiar.
Starting the book in a very serious tone, and then
as it nears the end begins to be more of a parody
of itself. I mean honestly try to have a little consistency.
As well as no one gives a shit about how pretty
your characters think they are after the umpteenth
time you have them say it. We don't care anymore
that you can look good, while killing things or
showing up to a party with your lover. Get a freaking
life, and have something better to say. And
the massive waste of time trying to physically find
a person that you know exactly where they are
is just a mass amount of padding, so you can add
in those lovely lack luster action scenes that go
absolutely nowhere. And finally, the bad guy
turning good for the final act because the power
of lust boner, really?

(Run me right round baby, right round. Useless and pointless.)

 

Could not agree more. Gratuitous sex I can tolerate to a point but nothing is worse than a sex scene that just utterly fails to be sexy. When the book jump into naming throbbing body parts it just feels icky. Even in useful sex scenes that's the wrong way to do it, unless your whole point is that the sex is degrading and unpleasant for all involve. And honestly, you can still do that without sounding like a gynecologist with tourettes.

It's literature not porn, you talentless fucks!

 

I'm reading a book like that right now by Stephen Clarke called Merde Happens. Also Nicola Barker's Five Miles from Outer Hope. When every other sentence is basically a one-liner, it really does get exhausting. Although I did enjoy the latter quite a bit for some reason... Maybe cos the characters were kinda off-beat and grotesque.

So basically every sex scene I've ever written.

I must read this book!

 

Not really no. On that one I am venting my frustrations about a short story threads on a different forum.
Seems many just like to write 5th rate pornos with a 'plot', instead of erotica. Quite taxing to my poor brain
to read.

Well I am 90% done with it, and that has been my observation, but if you must then:
Hotel of Death: The Chosen One By Cynthia Fridsma
Have fun.

 

I have two pet peeves.
Excessive or uncessary descriptive writing. I know what a flipping taxi looks like.
The use of uncommon words or phrases over and over again. eg, sometimes food is refeered to as scran by the british military, but, having been in the british military, no one calls it that every single time they refer to food. Some books i've read do.

Oh wait, its three pet peeves.
The word Intel. Its Intelligence. Not intel. Saying intel makes you sound like you have a lack of.

 

"Y'all better knock it off before Frodo Frodo's your ass."

Did I do it right?

 

Yes! I like smart dialogue but not all the time. Leave it for when it has an impact.

My standard comeback is some unattractive stuttering followed by, "Yeah? Well. Your FACE."

 

Mine is even less creative or effective. It's either, "Oh yeah? So's your old man!"

Or, "Oh yeah? Well, your mom and dad had SEX!"

 

You're a lobster!

edit: You were involved in the lobster insult conversation last week, right?

 

Your mum is a lobster!

yes

 

Your mum eats lobsters! With her mouth!

 

I tend to skip past descriptions anyway. When reading a book I'll skip past an initial description, read the whole thing and then I'm surprised when the author brings up a different hair colour to the one I envisioned...

 

Yeah, been there...
It really helps if there's a picture of the character(s) on the cover.

 

Even that didn't help me reading 'Eldest' - the dragon on the cover was red and I spent the entire time envisioning 'Saphira' as a ruby-coloured dragon. Needless to say 10 year old me was very confused when the actual red dragon showed up.

 

I can disappoint you both on that one. 2 of my MCs don't have hair.
And the one that does, has white hair.
Granted I have some expectation that my readers have an imagination.
So you kinda have fill in the whole of each in your own way.

@KaTrian & @UnderTheMoon

I think it is cheating and kinda disappointing to know what they look like
based on the cover art. It takes some of the fun of seeing them in the way
that I want too.