Limbaugh doesn't appear to me to use the word in that way @Simpson17866 , though maybe that has changed since the 1990s when I worked at a place that had him on the in-store radio every day. It's just a general pejorative applied originally to radical feminists like Dworkin or MacKinnon, and moving from there to apply generally to any feminist making a statement he doesn't agree with.
I see your point, but I'm not sure I want to use any of Limbaugh's words for anything. How about: Assholes believe women (or anyone else not like the assholes) should be inferior; Assholes believe men should be inferior; Feminists are not assholes. I like that one! It's like one of those logic questions... based on the above, which of the following can you be sure is true: a) Rush Limbaugh is a big fat liar; b) Assholes like flermgats; c) Flermgats are assholes; d) Feminists don't believe men should be inferior! (The answer, of course, is c) AND d). Stupid flermgats.)
An asshole is biologically necessary. A hemorrhoid is not biologically necessary, it's a bloody pain in the ass. Don't diss the aperture by comparing it with the likes of Limbaugh. In fact, a comparison with a hemorrhoid may be unfair to distended anal blood vessels.
I think it depends on what you expect to be the audience for this piece. If it's expected to be a YA romantasy, then you're right to worry about whether this could be misconstrued as 'a message' if for no other reason than panned reviews would impact sales. I can see lots of ways to mitigate this. What if she meets the 'exiled younger prince' of the rival kingdom during her adventure, they regard each other as competent equals, and they fall in love. Yeah, it's a bit Romeo and Juliet, but she can return with a counterproposal that satisfies everybody and makes true love the instrument of peace.
I wonder how sales are affected by such reviews. I heard a guy on NPR this morning talking about a bump in sales after a negative review in a well-known publication. He took the message that so long as they were talking about his book, it was better than not talking about it. Also, people fixated on perceived negative messages in Twilight and it didn't seem to hurt the sales to an appreciable degree. I think if you write a great book that people enjoy reading and find entertaining, only a few are going to complain much about it, and they're likely people who wouldn't have bought the book to begin with.
I think it depends on whether the review *is* in the target demographic, is all. I pay attention to my writer's circle feedback on female characters, because I learned I was pretty bad at writing them at first. Ironically, it's because I wrote them as essentially male heroes in women's bodies, and that is less likely to connect the character specifically with female readers. And it would also depend on whether the manuscript is being submitted to traditional publishers who may worry about exactly that. I would say leave it in the manuscript and cross your fingers for detailed feedback on the rejections. Good news is that it's easy to fix if it turns out to be a problem.
People are going to take things the wrong way even from the smallest of things. I read a comment on a youtube video (youtube comments sections are a great way to lower your faith in humanity) that said that The Lego Movie had a "Satanic" message. I don't see how telling people (especially children who are the film's target audience) that "You are the most talented, most interesting and most extraordinary person in the universe." that everyone is if they believe in themselves and whatnot is "Satanic" at all but people are dumb and crazy with dumb and crazy opinions. My advice is to while not to be afraid of people taking your story the wrong way, to push your message into the story but at the same time not to make it seem forced.
