Writing From a Female Perspective

I have to say that I've never given much thought to writing a character as male or female. They are either a man or a woman, and so far I think I've done alright. Of course, they are not set in 'our' world for the most part, but in fantasy or sci-fi.
I think a poster previous was right in that the world they live in is a big decider of how genders are specified. In a lot of sci-fi or fantasy, a woman character can often be in positions of power and authority without having to break through any 'glass' ceilings that we've created in the real world. In that way, an author could find it easier to write either gender than they would in contemporary fiction.
Still doesn't mean they don't need at least some feminine idiosyncrasies, but I think it's best to use moderation to give the character nuance rather than have them turned into a caricature.

 

You don't need an outlier to have a character that could easily be either man or woman.

 

Bold type mine. Exactly. A woman (or man) can be written very differently depending on the milieu you put them in. A female character in a contemporary thriller will be a lot different than the heroine of a 19th century historical novel, and the contemporary character should be way different from a woman in a far-future sci-fi fantasy. And in any of those settings, the writer can get it wrong.

Looking at it from the other way around, I've never quite believed the character of Gilbert Markham in Anne Bronte's Tenant of Wildfell Hall, which is set in the 1820s. He's supposed to be the hero of the piece, but he's so emotional and petulant and spends so much time mooning over the heroine Helen Graham and so little time thinking about and pursuing his business (he's supposed to be a yeoman farmer, which is a job and a half), that he comes off as womanish. It feels like Bronte put a lady in trousers and went on from there.

I gather that some people here would argue that a male character could just as well be a woman in trousers, just as a female character could well be a man in a skirt, all interchangeable. Well, maybe, if you build your world right. But innate or socially-determined, in real-life western culture there are still differences between woman and men.

Here's an example of one: In my WIP I needed two of my male characters to have a private conversation in the course of the workday. Nothing that rated going out to lunch, just a quiet word-in-your-ear away from the rest of the staff (who are both women). Aha, they can talk in the men's room. But I've never observed what goes on in the men's room. Do guys talk while they stand at the urinals doing their business? I asked a male colleague at work (yeah, I told him why I wanted to know). He said no and hell no, they keep their eyes front and their mouths closed. Strike up a conversation with the guy taking a whizz next to you, and he'll you're really creepy, even if he knows you. That's in sharp contrast to us woman, where friends will talk over the stall partitions about all sorts of things.

Differences like this may be only social, but they exist and pretending they don't will keep your opposite-sex characters from ringing true. If a guy wants to write a good female character in most settings, he'll do the observation and make the inquiries to discover what those differences are.

 

I quibble: From your description, it sounds to me more like she put the personality of a narcissistic dilettante with not much to do other than naval-gaze about their feelings, into the role of a responsible adult with a job. It doesn't seem gender-based exactly. But of course I haven't read the book.

 

It's tricky to understand gender roles in different time periods, too. I've been on a Heyer kick lately, and at first I was rolling my eyes at the mannerisms of the "dandy" set, assuming they were exaggerated, etc. But a little more research showed me that real life Beau Brummell, frequently mentioned in Heyer's books, bragged about taking five hours to dress himself each day. He and his dandy friends lived lives of complete, deliberate uselessness, concerned only with appearances and social standing.

I'd agree that it might be unlikely for a yeoman farmer to have time for much romance in his life, but I don't think it follows that he was being unmanly, according to the standards of the day.

 

There's a scene in, IIRC, Caves of Steel by Isaac Asimov where R. Daneel Olivaw (did I remember that name correctly?) attempts to speak to the human detective in the washroom. The detective says that, when he was young, six years old or so, he spoke to his father in a public restroom, and was rewarded with a slap across the mouth because men simply don't speak to each other there. Evolving definitions of child abuse notwithstanding, I felt that it was very well done and fairly accurate.

 

I didn't say one was "needed". Was a clarification that means what it says.

Of course, if you were just further clarifying my point, then thank-you.

 

That's the kind of detail that I, a woman, would never have thought of. Women do occasionally speak to each other in a restroom. (In fact, I had a conversation with a stranger in a restroom just a couple of weeks ago ...we were chatting about how nice that particular hotel was, in terms of restrooms. They had cloth towels, which were nice to use, and not wasteful, as they would be laundered and not thrown away.) This is where it's helpful for beta readers of both sexes to read through your work. They'll catch these little 'goofs.'

 

Maybe. Or maybe there are a lot of other women who feel like I do, and most writers just haven't caught up yet...

 

@Catrin Lewis and everybody else

Men definitely talk to one another in the bathroom.

 

Though 'bathroom' suggests we live together...and as you know, we do...share a bath most Tuesdays if you're not too busy with your soap operas.

In the UK I say 'public lavatory' or 'toilets,' 'loo...'

Pub toilet or urinal etiquette is to keep your eyes to the wall. When a man occupies the space to your left or right side, sometimes he is overcome by the hidden fear of 'other man' and is unable to splash land. He stands there, trembles like a fool, the hand full of gristle. Sometimes he even pretends to pee, but we all know the truth. He is a loser, although top level losers go straight to cubicle, they are pond life, nobody cares about them in any sense.

 

At the urinals?

I don't mean at the sink. They'd better talk there, or my scene is lost.

 

At least in my experience, not much conversation at the sink. At least partly because about half the time we skip washing hands entirely, and even when we don't, it's about five seconds of rinsing hands and then grabbing a paper towel. Not much time for conversation there.

 

That's just alarming. Why is that? Is washing hands seen as unmasculine? A girly obsession with sanitation, or something?

 

There's an old joke I've heard, usually used with the target of your choice. Since I don't want to make fun of anyone specific, I'm just going to use a "City" person and a "Country" person.

So, a man from the city and a man from the country were both in the same bathroom, using the urinals. They both finish up at about the same time, but while the City man goes to wash his hands, the Country man walks straight to the door.
Clearing his throat, the City man says, "In the city, we're taught to wash our hands after using the bathroom."
Shrugging, the Country man replies, "In the country, we're taught not to pee on our hands."


So... You tell me.

EDIT: Also, in a similar vein:
http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/2010-09-01

 

It's a funny joke, but unless you never ever touch anything below the waist while using the bathroom...it doesn't actually apply to real life.

Edited to add: The advice I've read, in a source that I no longer recall but I have mentally classified as reliable, was that if you touch anything between your waist and your knees, just wash your hands.

In my case, if I've touched anything in a bathroom stall at all, especially the door handle, I wash my hands, but I am a sanitation freak.

 

Another thought on this topic, if you're a man (Especially one who spends a lot of time in rural or country areas), you might regularly pee outside on the ground, and in those situations, there's not even an opportunity to wash your hands.

Anyhow, though, this is the kind of stuff I was talking about! Little differences that the opposite gender might never think of, because it would never come up for them. Yay progress!

 

I've rigged up an automated deployment and targeting system so that I don't actually have to use my hands. It takes a few minutes to unroll everything and get it pointed in the right direction, but cuts down on sanitation time.

 

I remember an episode of Law and Order: Criminal Intent. Goren, the male detective, and Eames, the female detective, were talking about a possible sequence of events, working out where a woman would have put her purse in a bathroom stall. (Or maybe they were figuring out why there was evidence that the purse had been on the floor of the stall.)

Eames said, "She'd hang it on the hook." Goren suggested, "Maybe she'd put it on the floor...?" and Eames said very firmly, "She'd hang it on the hook." Goren gave in and said, "Right. It's a girl thing."

A woman would never, ever, put her purse on the floor of a bathroom stall. (I think. Women, tell me if I'm wrong. )

 

True, but I have... kissed and been kissed in... areas between the belt and the knees with no special preparations and no ill effects.

Also seen an argument that washing your hands before touching said region is important, as your hands are your indiscriminate ambassadors to the filthy world.

 

I tried it once when I was a teen but couldn't reach, you need a really bendy spine.

 

Urinals, sink, you name it.

 

Yeah, beyond "pardon me" if you get in another man's way or something, not a lot of talking goes on in a men's public restroom. And I do feel the vibe that it is frowned upon. You don't see a girl's boyfriend get up, and ask his third-wheel to go with him to the bathroom for a chat.

Now, at work occasionally guys will have a brief conversation, or share a funny joke or something. But only if they know each other well, obviously.

Was a little different back in my old high-school. Probably doesn't apply to the conversation at hand, but guys liked to go to the bathroom to do illegal things. Or, sometimes just things that weren't allowed at school, like smoke / vape, chew tobacco, cheat together on a test, skip class, etc.