As someone who has beta-read and has been beta-read for, I know how valuable the process can be. Sometimes it's the most critical readers who will point out exactly what's missing in your story, so you can correct the problem and make it better. But occasionally, it just doesn't work. So since I'm feeling a little perverse today, I propose starting this thread. I'll go first. You know you've got the wrong beta reader when . . . she starts telling you what your characters would and wouldn't do-- on the very first page. EDIT: In all fairness, it was the very first scene. Still.