The last few weeks have been a bit of a blur and I can't remember what I posted about it. So I'll summarise. There are people here whom I have come to see as friends, and I feel bad about being away so long. So I want to explain why. My partner ended our relationship after 6 years, and I've had to move out of our home and in to my parents' place. I basically had a complete mental breakdown. I didn't sleep for 10 days, during which time I attempted suicide, almost ended up sectioned, and then almost completely dissociated. I think the only reason I didn't completely lose it is because I managed to convince myself that what was happening wasn't real until such time as I could get sedated so I could sleep. I'm on new meds now, and am actually sleeping which is good. I'm back at work, which is even better as it means I get to be in my home town (my business is based in my home town which is 70 miles from my parents' house). It means I have to commute, but just being there in the environment I want to be in, breathing the air, driving along familiar roads, seeing my park and all the landmarks I know and love felt really good. I'm on good terms with my now-ex partner, and I went to his place to get my computer and some other bits. I actually feel really positive about our relationship (now just friends). I'm desperate to get back to my home town permanently, so need to work out the finances to buy a place on my own. Well, most people probably don't care, but for those who do, I'm sorry I was gone so long. I'm going to try to get back to writing soon, and it's nice to feel able to come back here.
Welcome back, mashers, and it's good to hear you're stable and have managed to have a good relationship with your ex. Best of luck!
Sorry to hear about the nonsense life has thrown at you, but glad it's getting better and it's good to have you back. I know I'd been wondering about you! Have a welcome-back kitten.
It's good to be back in familiar surroundings, where you feel comfortable and cared-for, that's for sure. I'm sorry you went through such a bad period, but glad you have worked out a way to deal with it that will let you move forward. Breaking up with somebody you've been with for 6 years can't have been easy. I'm so glad you are able to still be friends, though. That way those years you spent together won't feel like they have disappeared. Very good luck to you in the next wee while, while you find stability again. And I hope you can get a job and a house for yourself in your home town, as you wish. I envy people, sometimes, who can live happily in the place where they grew up. There is a continuity to that which doesn't happen any other way. And yes, we did miss you!
Thank you everyone for your replies Thank you for the kitten @izzybot ! @jannert Actually when I said “home town” I really meant the place I have been living with my partner. I’ve made it my home, and want to stay there. It’s also where my work is so I don’t need to change that. I’m back living where I grew up, which is a tiny island with nothing much there. I can’t wait to get away from it and back to where I have been living until this breakup! Coming to work is like respite as it means I get to go home
No need to apologize for experiencing one of the hardest parts of life. Not sleeping is horrible. Hope you stay on upward trend. Writing might help when you've got your focus back.
Ah. I totally misunderstood you! But if you think of your place where you've lived recently as your 'home town,' then so it is!
It's a small island called Mersea off the cost of Colchester (Essex, UK). Even if you like tiny islands, you probably wouldn't like this one. There's really nothing special or interesting about it. There's literally nothing here except a shitty beach which is full of stones. Edit - ok, not literally nothing. There are houses, some shops, churches and pubs. And that's about it.
Welcome back! I'm so sorry you've had such a rough patch, but am very happy and grateful you're feeling better.
The UK is quite a small island, so has a lot of coastline. So yes, surfing is very much a thing here. But the island I am staying on isn’t really in the sea, not properly. It’s in an estuary, which means the tide can come in and cut it off from the mainland (some fucking genius built the road low enough that the tide can cover it) but without any of the apparent sporting benefits of proper sea tides. I’m not bothered - I’m not into sport and can barely walk in a straight line, let alone balance on a thin board which is not not only floating, but also moving.
Thank you Barely. I’ve just rigged up WiFi extenders around my parents’ house as I couldn’t get anything in my bedroom here or my makeshift office and I couldn’t take it any more.
Fair enough. For me it's a great way to stave off insanity and I wasn't sure if either the climate or the culture supported it. I actually learned to surf on a lake, so I always try to stay open to options. Your description of Mersea actually reminds me of a place my sister used to live. Your island probably has fewer native reservations and deer hunters, though.
