The title may seem offensive. Though I am a firm believer of making fun of oneself. If you have no modesty or humility what does that say about your character to others? Despite my preaching for a minute there I should get to the point before I digress further. I think a thread like this once existed. But I wanted to know what WF members have lost their minds. Let me clarify: Who amongst has been diagnosed with a mental disorder? Or not diagnosed? Anything is qualified; anxiety disorder, bipolar, depression, etc. Maybe you're a hypochondriac. All though if you're a hypochondriac who says you're a hypochondriac does that mean you're not. Hypochondriaception. Yes I have been clear before in some post. Though I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia. So there is that. I also kind of wanted this thread to be a kind of support thread too. I love to promote communities helping one another. So if you're having a very bad hypochondriac day, go on ahead and cry on our shoulders. I'll tell you what the voices in my head say. Sorry dark humour.
Well, I do have generalized anxiety disorder with a dash of pessimism. I'm usually a pretty upbeat guy with a bright personality, but if I'm exposed to a lot of negativity, then boy oh boy that pessimistic side comes out in a fury. That pessimism always assumes the worst in everything, that if something bad is likely to happen, there's a 99.999% chance of it happening. Granted, I'm not the stereotypical bitter guy that sits around feeling sorry for himself. I work that out via writing, playing dark videogames like The Last of Us, going on a walk, etc. I'm not sure if this is a sign of anything, but I also imagine my characters undergoing slightly more hellish scenarios than they usually do. But mostly, when I get into that pessimistic mood, I look for equally dark, pessimistic stories/video games or imagine dark, pessimistic storylines for my characters to go through. THAT SAID THOUGH, I'm a normally happy guy, OK? It's only when I get into a sour mood when I get pessimistic. The generalized anxiety, though, that's another ballgame entirely. :/
I suffer from a social anxiety. Have tried professional help about two years ago but still very anxious when it comes to being social. That's one of the reasons why I joined this forum; learning to have social interactions and express myself, though it's over the internet. Overall, I've been working on myself and fighting the anxiety the last months or so. I'm changing my physical appearance (yesterday I nervously walked in a tattoo-shop for my very first ear piercings, result looks fabulous!), I bought some new clothes (got rid of the "everything-has-to-be-black" style) and try to exercise more (arms finally start to grow a little). I also follow some pep and motivation talkers on youtube, and they taught me quite some nice tricks for anxious moments. Gotta say it all works quite well, for I feel somewhat more secure about myself lately. Still a long road to go, but at least I'm on my way.
I think you have to be a little nuts to want to do something as difficult as writing with no guarantee that you'll be rewarded.
I will tell a story that probably is better off both left unsaid, but at the same time I found it funny. Frightening when you experience, but hilarious later on. It also probably suited better for a story in the Food Thread too, but here will be good. I had a daydream or a dream, I'm never sure I can pull those two apart. About the cutest Flan you'll ever see. Big wide anime eyes, squeaky high pitch voice. This Flan pudding was adorable on first look. I mean this damn thing looked so damn vastly cute, you wouldn't think that this Flan would cause harm. But there is more..... This is where things go weird. The Flan told me to kill. I saw people passing by and the Flan was whispering in his squeaky voice, "kill him," "kill him," No joke. No lie. Hilarious now, hilarious back then, not so much. It was kind of terrifying on further looking back.
I think we learn to live when we take joy in the action and care not about the outcome. People used to look at me weird when I told them I volunteer regularly. I take the same approach to writing, I don't have any eye on the reward, I just like to do it. As for metal disorder, I was once diagnosed with ADHD when I was very young. I think the expectation for an 8 year old boy to sit still in a classroom chair for hours on end is a disorder in itself.
Well, I am going to assume that you are being honest with the folks in the lounge, JP Clyde, and wish you good luck in dealing with your schizophrenia condition. When it comes to disorders such as these, one should not make light of such things in my opinion. Anyway, I have never been diagnosed with any kind of mental disorder or condition by a professional. However, doing some research and having completed online tests on my own, I came to the realization that it is possible that I have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or rather I may be a mild case. But then, online tests are a dime a dozen as they say. Regardless, it may be fair to say that I have narcissistic traits, but a clinical diagnosis in regards to being narcissistic is highly debated in the psychiatric community. It is not like having depression, bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia which are conditions that are serious and real. It seems to be more like a personality quirk I think.
Years ago I used to be on so many psychiatric meds that I would get very nervous over every little thing.
The flan story is true. I tend to joke with very dark comedy as a coping mechanism or so I do believe. The thing is for me, I rather laugh about it rather than cry. I have contemplated so many things in my life, that I rather not go down into that rabbit hole ever again in my life. I will not lie about something. I just rather not make deep conversation about it either because it scares people enough I think. With the way media portrays schizophrenics. We're all psycho stabby mcstab serial killers with no emotion and no feels. I cannot get a job because for some strange perceived reason people believe that I would go psycho on them. I can manage and function with my medication enough. I make light of it to make people happy and more comfortable with me. Inside truly, deeply. I am a man of shadows. Despite the smile I wear on my surface. There is a lot of torment inside. Inside there is so much darkness it would swallow those around me whole. edit: “To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain and play with it.”-Charley Chaplin
