Dreams/nightmares

I really don't know what to call them any more, they start as dreams and develop into nightmares or something else in between? At first you could be in control and little by little you lose that control. You notice it, all you have to do now is see what happens and pray you wont feel anything that's coming. You feel the fear, the pain, all the feelings. I cannot run away from it anymore, or hide. I can only take a glimpse of what is to come. Just a glimpse. Since is not the first time any more should I just let go and let it take over. I have try so hard to just not let it win yet it seems I don't do any progress. The little progress I do is nothing compared to what is going on inside. I cant explain or described it either. It just doesn't let me. Or I don't let it. Not going to lie there are dreams that I wish to get lost in and stay. But there there are those that wish to forget and not have. I try to make it better but as always I make it worse and in change I feel worse. Everything is a mess just like my mind. All over the place different things all at once popup. Atleast its not as bad as before but I feel like I am at the edge. Sitting at the edge looking at the huge storm forming with no way around. I am prepare so I think so but in reality I might just be in the middle of it. I have jump into the water and every time seems longer and longer, should I be fearful of just not fight or do any thing and stay there? ​