So I got a terrible grade on this

By jim onion · Mar 14, 2022 · 772 · 5
  1. I kind of understand why, kind of don't.

    So I sent my professor an email asking if we could meet for office hours. In sum, I said: "Hi, thanks for the feedback! I understand you don't want me to include novels that aren't from this class. Ultimately, I'm at a loss as to what to do. I guess, in a sort of existential crisis sort of way, I don't really understand what this assignment even is. And I'm starting to get "Vietnam" flashbacks to some of my previous English courses where I honestly don't know what it is that my professors want me to write."

    We had to write about trauma using one of the books from class. The one I chose was Forever by Judy Blume.

    That's basically all I know. I don't really understand what kind of an assignment that is. I basically argued why Judy Blume doesn't satisfactorily address trauma because there is no growth or triumph.

    My professor said that this is "basically what they had argued over a decade ago". Well, I've read their paper (I referenced it in my essay), and it was very good (much better than mine), but I didn't get that from their argument at all... Their argument was that Blume's problem novels don't show its protagonists overcoming their problems, and that that's okay. My fundamental argument, and perhaps I didn't make it clear enough, is that it is problematic.

    In another academic paper I referenced (which our professor also gave us), Kidd argues that the problem novel is supposed to inspire "hope", and I don't find anything particularly hopeful about a nihilistic "obliteration" of the bildungsroman, in which it is stylish nowadays to have protagonists who fail and don't change or grow.

    Anyway, I'll now attach the essay. I know where to start (by removing any and all references to novels outside the class, which I guess I should've seen coming). But beyond that, I don't really understand why it's a 60%.

    At first, I was pretty rattled, pretty annoyed with the grade. But I at least know that if I just rewrite exactly what I have already done, but maybe make my argument more explicit, and remove any and all reference to books other than Forever itself, I'll probably get at least a C.

    Whatever. I've basically come to the conclusion that the reason I don't get As on my writing is because I don't want to write what they want me to say. I'm not saying that I am right to believe that; rather, since I never understand what English professors want even after numerous essays, redrafting, meeting for office hours, etc., this is my default assumption.

    I simply fail to understand what they want from me, and I'm at the point where I honestly don't give a shit. If I pass with a B, I don't care.
    Seven Crowns likes this.

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  1. Not the Territory
    Nothing against post-sec literature assignments, but I personally wouldn't have the patience for it.

    I hope the prof. gives you more detailed feedback (and hopefully other than "I personally disagree with your conclusion"). I mean, it's his job. Getting a 60 is whatever, getting a 60 and not entirely knowing why is frustrating.
    Not the Territory, Mar 14, 2022
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  2. jim onion
    @Not the Territory

    Thanks for the comment. I will play devil's advocate and say that I was told to explicitly remove references to texts outside the classroom (except academic texts) in their feedback. And the essay checklist they want us to use for our essays is easily available to us; I guess the issue is more I don't know specifically where on the checklist I am falling short, and where I am not. Sure, I have some idea, but I'd have an *exact* idea before spending a significant amount of time redrafting for a better grade.

    My professor seems like the type of person where I need only ask, and they will be more than willing to meet with me and give more detailed feedback.

    I just wish that the initial feedback was clearer, and more specific so that I'm not left in confusion, which can be very frustrating when you get a low grade after spending a great deal of time on it.
    jim onion, Mar 15, 2022
      Not the Territory likes this.
  3. big soft moose
    I kinda wonder if the reason for the low grade is that you are arguing that the book is about the 'trauma' of losing virginity when katherine doesn't seem particular traumatised by it. the sex between her and michael isn't especially traumatic being pretty tender and real, and she goes on to cheat on michael with theo when they are separated. Its been a while since i read it, but my recollection is the main theme is the transitory nature of 'true love' and that 'forever' isn't actually forever. If I was going to write about Trauma using Forever i would probably focus on Artie (or is it Archie?) and the trauma he suffers in leaving high school behind and transitioning to adult life which culminates in his attempted suicide.

    Also you seem to be mostly arguing that Blume should have included a male viewpoint in order to address the trauma in losing their virginity which affects boys. This seems somewhat at odds with the nature of the book (you say in the first paragraph that her ouvre is sororal... so why would you expect that a writer know to write from a female point of view to include a male viewpoint in order to address trauma for both sexes?)

    The overarching point here though is that your essay doesnt seem to have a clear structure and firm argument, its mostly given over to describing what happens, rather than discussing of why Blume wrote it as she did... i have a strong suspicion that if you rewrite it as is just omitting references to books outside the course you will again get about 60%

    I'd also strongly suspect that this overarching point is why you don't get As...its not that you're not saying what the professor wants you to say (although there is definitely some of that in academe), but more importantly you're not saying whatever it is you want to say clearly and coherently with cites both from the text and from other relevant papers to back up your conclusions
    big soft moose, Mar 15, 2022
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  4. big soft moose
    you may find this useful (in particular the first 8 pages) one word of caution is that this is from the university of edinburgh and unis can vary slightly in preferred structure..it would be worth seeing if your university has something similar https://www.ed.ac.uk/files/imports/fileManager/English%20Literature%20Writing%20Guide%20final.pdf

    I think a key point here is 'did you plan the essay' - it reads a bit like you sat down and started musing about stuff rather than drawing up a clear plan of what it was you were going to argue, and how you were going to support those points

    Although i'm a strong believer in the pants approach to novel writing, academic essays benefit from being rigorously planned
    big soft moose, Mar 15, 2022
      Foxxx likes this.
  5. jim onion
    @big soft moose Ah, I am glad that somebody has read this book! Makes it hard to talk about otherwise.

    My point about lack of male perspective is one more of meta-commentary; if the YA genre is addressing trauma, then this seems to be a glaring issue in a book that's about love that involves both sexes to an equal degree (speaking strictly of the heterosexual variety here). The male characters are shallow stereotypes and negative models for readers, including female readers which means it's not useful even for a sororal context because it's already so strangely warped.

    In other words: what's the fucking point of this story? When you could write a story with better characters, and when there are many ways of overcoming trauma out there, why would you then choose to write a story that does neither of those things? And how could THAT be of use to a YA audience who could use guidance or at least a suggestion? It's honestly irresponsible.

    But my fundamental point is that the problem novel, including Blume's, has no growth or triumph (or insert a literary term that you think would be better). The male characters are just a symptom of that. As a result, you just have a "blind leading the blind" scenario that doesn't benefit YA girls who are reading it. I'm in a class of like 20 women and 2 other guys, and everyone just wanted to talk about shitty Michael or Artie the depressive, and not a peep was said about Katherine's inability to communicate or her cheating. I don't foresee 16-17 year-olds faring much better in being critical of Katherine; I foresee them also wasting time on two painfully stereotyped versions of men, and complaining about men the entire time, because the book doesn't give them an out and can't be arsed to challenge that perspective. The book doesn't have Katherine change or meaningfully reflect, or she changes for the worst. What is there to emulate? How is that at all a useful address of trauma? Asking, not arguing with you; you've read the book so maybe you can rack your brain.

    Basically: if you're trying to help someone through trauma around love, this isn't the way to do it, by removing the other half from the conversation in order to replace them with straw men, and having a main character who doesn't change or grow in any way that would be necessary for overcoming trauma, and having a main character surrounded only by other characters who don't have a fucking clue either. If anything, the most traumatized ARE in fact Artie, and then Michael. Katherine at least loses her grandfather, and loses Michael, and loses her virginity, and loss is trauma. But the book just expects teens of the same age who are likely to be as equally as confused or inexperienced as Katherine to somehow gain something from her experience, as if by magic. The book gives no strong reason why I should believe that. I have every reason to believe they will end up not only right where they started, but with not even a good suggestion of a direction to move in. Just stuck.

    I will make my stance excruciatingly clear in my thesis on my second draft, as well as in every ensuing paragraph. My professor thought I was arguing the same thing they argued 10 years ago, when in fact I am in disagreement with them; I think problem novels are shit, to put it informally. So that's a sign I need to make my thesis like a bull in a China shop.

    P.S. Thank you for that link; some of it definitely applies. It seems that some of what you yourself have mentioned is similar to my professor's feedback, but a bit easier to understand. I agree with your criticism.
    jim onion, Mar 15, 2022
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