Comparing myself to others

case A
high school. The guy who played guitar on a different level to me. He was already into Jazz then. I mean "Jazz" is kind of esoteric and tricky to play too with all those complex chords. meanwhile I was lucky to strum the power chords to Smoke on the Water. To top it off, one night he was pashing the gal I was enamoured by. How cruel to see that!
case B
elementary school teacher. the guy next door who had his class under perfect control while my juvenile delinquents were just that. That really reinforced my low self-esteem. How was I going to make it as a teacher in the big bad world? I felt ineffectual, powerless, impotent and frazzled daily via poor classroom management. I needed help but no one had time to give it to me.
case C
my older brothers . Three of them. Each one had a trait I lacked. One was a self made intellectual who devoured books and made a lot of sense to me, though now I might be able to challenge some of his conclusions. Another was a pragmatic handyman. This guy was built for the real world. he thrived on pragmatic challenges and he was a skilled people person. He became a millionaire which is no surprise to me. The other brother suffered fools ungladly. He was tough and took no prisoners. The guy has self discipline. He has a short fuse unfort. but I kind of envied that because I was way too much the people pleaser.

So in conclusion , my ability or tendency to compare myself during my life just chipped away at my confidence and made me lose focus. I can be easily distracted if I am trying to rise to a challenge. Thoughts come like "This is too hard. I'm not cut out for this. Person X would do this with their eyes closed." It made me a quitter in many respects too. Though laziness did contribute as well.