1. hedda

    hedda New Member

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    am i allowed...

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by hedda, Nov 15, 2016.

    ...to be depressed for a second? i wasn't sure where to post...so i came here? sometimes life is too much for me. i say that because i'm a really sensitive person. my sensitivity is my greatest weakness. i say this because i suffer from generalized anxiety disorder and depression. i stopped taking my meds and now my brain is having a hell of a time trying to figure out how it wants to feel. i stopped taking my meds because i became too reliant on them. i was taking more than directed. so i quit. i was scared i would eventually...overdose. unintentionally...intentionally. i would never know. that's why i stopped.

    i guess what i'm asking for is...well...idk what i'm asking for. maybe someone to talk to?

    **if this isn't fit for the forum...remove it if you wish...i just didn't know what to do. i just feel so...fucking depressed...
     
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  2. cydney

    cydney Banned

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    Yes you are allowed. I feel depressed & want to talk to someone too all the time. Just talk. But it seems like everyone else is caught up in something else - which is ok, too, for them. Anyway, I know how you feel. You can talk to me anytime. :)
     
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  3. hedda

    hedda New Member

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    thanks i guess. it's just i'm not sure how to go to those around me because i have a deep fear for being judged. i just hate it.
     
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  4. cydney

    cydney Banned

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    I have that fear too. And I'm sorry to say I don't have an answer. Tried many things but I think when the people who judge you are more determined than you, well...I suppose they get what they want.
     
  5. Lea`Brooks

    Lea`Brooks Contributor Contributor

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    When you say you felt too reliant on them.. Do you mean you felt physically addicted to them? Or that you felt they controlled you, in a sense that you couldn't function without them and wanted to prove you could do it on your own?

    If the first, I'd communicate that with your doctor. Not all medication for GAD is addictive, and they should be able to prescribe you something that you won't cause addiction.

    If the second, stop that right now. There is nothing wrong with having a mental disorder. It doesn't make you weak. It doesn't make you incapable. It's an illness, just like anything else, and you'd be foolish to think you can conquer it on your own.

    Would you tell a cancer patient not to go through chemo because they should be able to fight through it without? Of course not! Having a mental illness is no different.

    Certainly, people are able to control the symptoms of GAD and depression, but they have to learn how first. The medication is there to keep you healthy until you can learn these coping mechanisms. But it takes time to learn these things. It takes trial and error, figuring out what works for you and what doesn't, and oftentimes, it takes lots of therapy.

    I was fortunate to never need medication. But I've also been in therapy for three years. So I guess that's my own kind of medication.

    Anyway. You're not alone. Try this thread. It's a "safe place" for people like us to talk about how we're handling mental health issues or even just to vent.

    I hope you feel better soon. :)
     
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  6. hedda

    hedda New Member

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    hey thanks. your response was much appreciated. i just got to the point with my meds that i was tired of it controlling me and i wanted to control myself. i was surrounded by tons of people who judged me and made me feel like my gad was not real. i always got the "its all in your head" response and i just got tired of not having a support system...and the meds and the doctor costs money that i don't have...which is why i canceled two appointments in a row. its hard. its really hard. but i'm trying. i will check out that thread you referred me to. thanks again. it means a lot to know that even a stranger can care.
     
  7. CaitlinCarver

    CaitlinCarver Member

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    I don't know where in the world you live, but most nations offer free or low-price healthcare for those in financial need.

    Please do try to take your meds, or at least if you're going to quit, don't do it cold turkey. That really messes with your brain chemistry and puts you at risk for some seriously bad thoughts. Ease yourself down, so you don't come crashing down.

    Also, there's a great site where you can get access to free online therapy and support, which might help you manage your symptoms without medication: https://www.7cups.com/

    Again, it's free, so you don't have to worry about money. All you need is internet access, and if that's a problem, go to your local library.

    I'm sorry I can't be more help and offer you a shoulder to lean on, as I, too, am struggling with mental illness right now. Just know that it's real, and that while it might be 'in your head,' it's physically there, in your brain, and it effects all of you.
     
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  8. Catnip

    Catnip New Member

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    I have been depressed myself, and I still have anxiety disorder, I have had it ever sense I remember and depression off and on after I turned seven. So I guess I know how you feel. I also used to be on meds but they didn't really help, I just felt empty. I felt nothing. I couldn't cry when I was sad and didn't laugh when I was happy. That is why I quit taking them. And for me it was the right choice.

    I really wish I could help you. Say something, do something that would make it all go away but it just doesn't go that way. Even though it doesn't feel like it, it will get easier. I'm pretty sure you have heard that one before, we all have, but it is true. I just hope that you won't give up, like my sister's friend did not too long ago. I hope that you will find the strength that is hiding inside of you and channel it to push through. Use what you have experienced to build your life, your future, your own happiness. No one can take that away from you, your experiences.
     
  9. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    I've been down that road before. I have mild Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and while I'm treating it with meds and coping mechanisms like saying, "Just let it go, John. Let it do it's thing. It's just a kid screaming in the back seat", it manages to one-up me and ruin my whole day.

    Take today for instance. Here I am playing Breath of the Wild, having a good time exploring Hyrule and my anxiety came up to me nudging about politics and filling my brain up with the same old bullshit that used to plague and rule me when I was a teen. Things like, "You're not allowed to do this-or-that because of some completely unrelated xyz reason!"
     
  10. S A Lee

    S A Lee Contributor Contributor

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    *big hug*

    Both my bf and I have a history of depression. We've gotten through over 6 years together by being each other's rock.

    I would honestly suggest doing some kind of exercise program, even if it's three half-hour sessions a week, the endorphins are a natural high that can be addictive but is ultimately harmless.

    And for the record, as I put it, just because something is in your head doesn't mean it's any less real to you. People who cannot see that aren't worth dealing with IMHO.
     

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